mostly all the person that i know them and they know me , will know that i very good in mathematics .
when i stuck on a difficult question of maths . i will try to do it with another way .
but why i just cant use the same concept on my life ?
im just too stubborn . i too afraid to show that im weak or even useless.
so i keep doing or behave with the same.
right now. i seen my mistake, i understand my problems, i know the solution ,
now . i have to admit that im weak. is damn weak.
i not really good in maths. im bad. im suck.
from today start, every morning i wake up , i will face the mirror and tell myself that, time to change. its time to change. its time to change my bad behavior. its time to change my bad behavior and my bad temper. smile. everyday is a brand new day.
make new hope , new target , everyday .

tomorrow i have moral finals, good luck to myself. even i dun know anything bout moral..
tomorrow she has test and presentation . best luck to her. and i wanna tell her
i love her.

listen my heart. the sound of sorrow. will it terminated by the heart beat ?
look my heart. the light of darkness. will it lost when i blink my eyes?
touch my skin. the feel of rough. will it feel soft when i rub it ?
hugs my body. the deepest of fear. will it be okay ?
kiss my lips. the mystery of love. will i understand it ?

some time i dun get what i after with ? why i doing so much of things ?
worth ? i have no idea.
but i know i cant give up . if i do .. i will just lost something or everything.
should i continue ?
please .. i need energy source .
god ... please whisper into my ears, please hold my hands .

our love changed .. not to bad .. but to good..
our love become stable now. i guess so.. i feel it.. not sure what you feel.
hopefully she feels the same.
we always argue.. we always argue over the same problems.
tat is she dun1 me treat her too good and din bother my things..
and i dun1 her treat me too good and din bother her things..
so weird.. == ..
<3

2.39

its 2.39am. and ya.. i have to wake up at 6.30 later.. seriously ? and i have to drive to ss15 .. fucking serious ? yes.. have to study .. money paid. no give up and no lazy mood on this sem.. found the feeling today during advance class. after 1 year. the feeling make me feel interesting on tat class.. i sure wont skip any of advance function class.. bring it on .. see who better. mom just opened my room asking me why i haven sleep . how i gonna answer her tat i might not going to sleep ..
but now i worrying how i gonna drive tml if i dun sleep. fuck this shit(worry-ness) or fuck tat shit ( class)? will think bout it later then.. haha .. time to find others stuff to spend my lovely awesome time..

another lesson of life

when human grow up . things will change. things will always changing out of your expectation and it could be even worse than your imagination . nothing will remain the same. car drive long period will broke and will not as nice as new. human will change and will never be the same as the 1st time u meet the person . last time i always thought that HALF of human will appreciate things and being thankful. and another half is those bitchy. but after long period i face the world. i realized the worlds ain't as simple as i thought . i found that lots of people always remember what u did badly and take the advantage to scold or insult you .and they never remember what you had actually done awesomely . maybe i am one of these person as well. and i just din realize bout it. btw.. screw it. all i can say is. no matter how well you have done in your life. but once u did wrongly for a small thing. guess what ? prepare for insult by others. practice make perfection . so listen more insult from others. so u can being perfect and no feeling toward all insult from people.. haha.. ftw

next week is her study leave. i keep asking me to minimize our conversation and cut down our video calling time so she can study well and concentrate.. ** hopefully it can work **
well. i at here to pray her good luck in exam.. and wish her friend would stop giving her problems.
it's damn fucking annoying for her. i understand how it feel when your brain is frustrating with another problems . i had it too..
seriously. stop being immature and stop showing off .. who cares ? who really appreciate your good ?
damn.. i sleep better now..